Brutal Coaching™

Where Your Excuses Come to Die

Patent Pending • ISO 9001 Certified Brutality • As Seen on LinkedIn

Words	Price	ROI
1000+	FREE	Peasant tier
100	€100	€1/word
2-5	€1,200	€240-600/word

⚠️ EDUCATIONAL SATIRE: This page demonstrates how coaching industry pricing often correlates inversely with actual content delivered. The "fewer words = more money" model is a satirical inversion of premium positioning strategies. Or is it?

Sample Consultations

CLIENT: "I've been thinking about starting a business for 3 years..."

BRUTAL COACH™: "Start."

Invoice: €10,000 (1 word)

CLIENT: "What if I fail?"

BRUTAL COACH™: "Try again."

Invoice: €2,500 (2 words)

CLIENT: "My situation is complicated..."

BRUTAL COACH™: "No."

Invoice: €10,000 (1 word)

CLIENT: "I need a detailed roadmap with milestones and KPIs..."

BRUTAL COACH™: "Do the thing. Adjust. Repeat. Stop asking permission from frameworks."

Invoice: €100 (10 words) — BUDGET OPTION

Testimonials*

"He said one word and I immediately understood everything I'd been avoiding for 5 years. Worth every euro."

— Anonymous Fortune 500 Executive (probably)

"I paid €2,500 for two words. They were 'Stop whining.' I have never been more insulted or more motivated."

— Tech Bro, San Francisco

"The silence after he spoke was more valuable than the words themselves."

— Wellness Influencer (ironic)

*Testimonials are satirical and do not represent real individuals. Any resemblance to actual coaching testimonials is entirely intentional.

Ready to pay premium prices for minimal effort?

Request Quote

Wait, Is This Real?

Plot twist: There's an actual version of this.

maciejjankowski.com/brutal-coaching

The satire became the product. The product was always the satire. We are all trapped in late-stage capitalism. Anyway, book a call.

Brutal Coaching™ is a registered trademark of nobody because trademarks cost money and this is satire. No coaches were harmed in the making of this page. Some egos may have been bruised. This is not financial advice. This is not life advice. This is barely advice. By reading this page you agree that your excuses are now void. © 2026 evil1.org — Where Souls Are Sold™